A little girl...for Sarah

When we found out that Delainey was to be a girl, many, many, many people said something like..."Oh, you finally got your girl!" My first response (at least in my mind)"Did we want a girl?" I'd seen girls, I'd been around girls. I only have brothers and three sons. GIRL??? I thought "you know, I've seen those and I don't think I actually NEEEEED one of them..." But here you go, one's on the way.

Over the past five and half years there have been so many times where I just looked at Delainey and thought "WHAT ARE YOU????" Example from recent experience....(and NOT looking forward to the teenager version) One morning Chase came to the kitchen and said "do you like my otter?" and of course I said "Yes! I really like your otter." (stuffed animal) What happened between then and two minutes later I do NOT know, but the next thing I DO know is that Delainey is collapsed into a lump on the floor sobbing inconsolably because "Nob-bo-body l-l-l-iiikes m-m-y an-ni-malssss." This went on for somewhere around 20 minutes without any success at consolation. And people say I should WANT this??

Here are a few pictures to illustrate my point:

A typical "You don't like my animals" type mode



The "after 20 or more minutes of consolation" mode



While I will say that I do not love these moments, there are moments where having a little girl has had its beautiful moments. Like when I was rocking her to sleep when she was nine months old and I was quietly crying under the weight of life and she looked up at me with undeniably understanding eyes and wrapped her arms around my neck. She enjoys cooking and cleaning and her mom and will frequently give hugs and kisses at wonderfully random moments.

And most of all I have learned to really love her more since the death of one of her friends, named Sarah, who died very unexpectedly last fall. Sarah's mom reminds us to hug our daughters more often because she can't. It lends for a little more patience on my part when I think of Sarah.

Sarah would've been five on Friday so this post is for her. Her life was short but it has left an impression on me and reminds me to love the daughter I have more because Heavenly Father knew I "NEEDED" a daughter.